Dear Hackers,
Just wanted to get back to you about the results of your latest promo—you know, the one where you hacked my email account to send out a message promoting diet pills to all my friends.
Unfortunately, it appears that the message never reached the inboxes of a high proportion of these potential customers. I know because I received dozens of non-delivery notices in my own inbox. Really, spam filters have gotten out of hand these days!
Of those who did receive the message, I’m afraid many of them contacted me instead of you, letting me know that my account had been hacked. A subsequent inquiry into the question of whether anyone on my contact list had actually clicked on the link in your message produced zero positive replies.
But your campaign wasn’t a total failure. It caused me to change my password from one that was only so-so to one that is very strong. Thank you for bringing the matter to my attention!
If you do manage to hack into my account again, you will sadly be faced with the same group of nonresponsive customers. And you will find that the account information has no chance whatsoever of leading you to someplace more interesting, like my bank account.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but maybe you can learn something from the experience, just as I did.
In the meantime, you might want to lay off the diet pills for awhile. I hear they can wreak havoc on your mental health.
All the best,
Teresa
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